Off of restriction

I am back! Stupid Bald One thought he could keep me off here forever. I hate him! oops! I mean, I respect his point of view. And his shiny forehead! What happened to him? Did he ever have hair? But I digress.

My grandparents are in town! It seems that my cousin Zooey is graduating from high school so they have come from the land of q-tips to visit. High school... who needs an education? I haven't attended a day of school and look how superior my intelligence is- I am Alpha! Everything I have learned is from surfing the internet or watching TV. Right now I am watching the first episode of Community. There is a lot ot be learned about college life from that one. I love that show. Much better than those Real Housewives shows Short Hair likes to watch. Nothing about those women is real- especially their boobs.

marathon girl

So I have actually been on two walks in a row. I feel like I am training for a marathon. The Help was all huffing and puffing up and down the streets while I was strutting my stuff. I swear Bald One was about to pass out. I hate him, he is such a jerk. Short Hair kept tripping over the curbs, what a klutz! And then there is Stick-in-the-Butt... she has to stop every 20 feet to pee. What puzzles me is how she can squeeze that much out so many times.

Birthday countdown- don't tell Long Hair I crapped on her comforter!

Musical Tuccus

Short hair has one nasty a$$. Tonight she was coughing and broke wind right in front of me. The bed rattled! Long Hair and Bald One (I hate him) were also witnesses if you don't believe me. I am okay with emissions but I hate when people get all high and mighty before they stink up the place. I guess she was worn out after I took her for a walk around the neighborhood.

Long Hair has a birthday coming up. Little does she know that I have a special present for her. When she least expects it I will deposit it in her room. I'll show her who is Alpha!

Hey, is anybody reading this?