I am the Alpha!

Spent the night in jail. I hate the Bald One. He is always on my case: “Poop outside, not in the house!” Who does he think he is, Alpha? I always get my revenge. Short Hair always blames him when I fart. Man, does she yell at him. I always get the last laugh. He does give good rubdowns. Maybe I am the Alpha.
I blocked Stick-in-the-Butt from getting onto the resting area today. She thought she could get past my defensive moves. I juked left- she fell for it and went to my right- I blocked and she wiped out. Short hair yelled at me. Who does she think she is, Alpha?
Lazy Old Fart spent the day outside. He spends most of his time laying around. I think I saw him once. He was walking around drooling; maybe he should be sent to a farm.
Long Hair saw me for a little bit today. I bit her. She thinks she’s Alpha; what does she know?
I hope the short hair doesn’t figure out that I crapped in her shoe. The grey one by the door. Sometimes you just have to go.
I am the Alpha!