Threat to National Security

So I was watching CNN with the Help (Short Hair and Bald One- I hate him), and we saw a segment about generals saying that school lunches are a threat to national security... making teenagers too fat for military service. What these kids need is me! I will whip them into shape! I will yell at them "bark, bark!" oops,I mean, "Run, fat boy, run!" And if they aren't fast enough I will bite their ankles. Long Hair knows what I'm talking about.