Today was "take your daughter to workout day" so Bald One took me to the gym. It made for an exciting afternoon. Bald One started with a run on the tread mill. I decided to run on the one next to him. He huffed and puffed but could only clear half a mile in 30 minutes. In the same time I trotted over 4 miles. That guy is slow! Then we went into the weight machine area. Bald One spent most of his time staring glassy eyed out the window. Occasionally he scratched his butt and once he picked his nose. Then he would move to another machine. Me, I lifted over 500,000 pounds! As I cruised around the gym, hordes of kids followed me around, similar to a Rocky movie. Someone was singing a song- "Getting stronger...."
While at the gym I made some observations about people. I will of course share a few:
1) the talker. This person sits on the machine. Maybe he is finished, maybe he hasn't even started yet. He gets involved in a conversation and stops the workout. Meanwhile, I am waiting for the machine. Jerk.
2) the camper. This guy occupies one machine for a long period of time, doing multiple sets. Meanwhile, I am waiting for the machine. Just when I think you are done, another set! Bastard.
(Although I would never call you this to your face- you are usually built like Buff Bagwell. Anybody remember him?)
3) the phonester. This hipster needs to talk during his workout. While peddling the exercise bike, walking laps, or trying to lift weights. That last one is amusing to watch- one hand holding the phone to the ear, talking louding, trying to bench press at the same time. Goofball.
4) the looker. This one isn't really serious about the workout. He usually wears a muscle shirt and walks around, looking at the equipment. When he sees a vulnerable looking woman he'll move in for a conversation. He moves around a lot, looking busy, but not there to break a sweat. You think you're cool, but I'm onto you. Doofus.
While at the gym I made some observations about people. I will of course share a few:
1) the talker. This person sits on the machine. Maybe he is finished, maybe he hasn't even started yet. He gets involved in a conversation and stops the workout. Meanwhile, I am waiting for the machine. Jerk.
2) the camper. This guy occupies one machine for a long period of time, doing multiple sets. Meanwhile, I am waiting for the machine. Just when I think you are done, another set! Bastard.
(Although I would never call you this to your face- you are usually built like Buff Bagwell. Anybody remember him?)
3) the phonester. This hipster needs to talk during his workout. While peddling the exercise bike, walking laps, or trying to lift weights. That last one is amusing to watch- one hand holding the phone to the ear, talking louding, trying to bench press at the same time. Goofball.
4) the looker. This one isn't really serious about the workout. He usually wears a muscle shirt and walks around, looking at the equipment. When he sees a vulnerable looking woman he'll move in for a conversation. He moves around a lot, looking busy, but not there to break a sweat. You think you're cool, but I'm onto you. Doofus.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Comments? We love comments!