Djokovic supreme!

Have you been keeping up with Wimbledon? Bald One thinks he is a tennis player so we have been watching it on and off. Yesterday we watched Kvitova beat Shirapova. Bald One and I looked at each other- who is Kvitova? Grand Slam champion apparently. Then we watched the Bryan Brothers- what a pair! I think they are telepathically linked.

This morning I had to drag Bald One out of bed for Breakfast at Wimbledon. Breakfast of course was the garbage Bald One feeds me while he had yogurt and a banana. Great match! Nadal hit some really hard backhands. But we were really hoping the Joker would defeat the Picker.

Bald One said something about a bath after the match- oh crap!

Six Loads!

Busy day today- I finally got Bald One to give me a bath. I feel and smell much better now. That Bald One is getting lazy- it's a good thing I am still here to boss him around now. Afterward, I made him shave and take a shower. I think it has been about a week now since he last bathed.

Can't clean up without doing laundry. Bald One has really gotten lazy- three weeks of clothes! I had to go with him to the laundry facility to supervise his activities. Six loads! Luckily no one else was there, we took over most of the machines. With a little nudging from me, he got all the clothes folded and even put away when we got home. You know, I only saw a few pairs of underwear in there- this guy is disgusting.

Tennis update- Bald One won another round of playoffs (the first-128- was on Friday)- he is now off to the round of 32. He may not be smart, but he is brutish on the courts.

Dinner tonight- I had a sausages and the dried crap Bald One feeds me. He had burned pot stickers and steamed vegetables. I really would've liked a bite.

Six loads!

Ambush!

Yesterday we had two good ambushes. Bald One got me first- he is one Tricky Dick Jerk- I hate him! He lured me upstairs and then trapped me in the bathroom. No amount of growling or running in circles could save me. He gave me a bath and I hated it! The water on my blonde hair, soaking me like a drowned rat. On the upside, I do smell better now.

Looking to strike back, I decided that Long Hair would feel my wrath. Did I ever tell you that she is afraid of puppets? I could not reach that high so I manipulated Bald One (he is my puppet) to place the marionette in Long Hair's closet. She spazzed out and went screaming through the house, accusing everyone, especially Bald One. It is kind of creepy looking, don't you agree?

So how about you? Has anyone ever ambushed you? Or do you like to ambush people? What is your favorite ambush?

I am still Alpha!

Did I ever tell you about the time that Long Hair and Bald One had a contest to see who could go the longest without showering? Long Hair won- five days! There's one to make momma proud. Me, I hate baths. Except for the drying off process- I feel like I am getting a massage. This is coming up because Bald One- I hate him!- has been threatening to give me a bath. I presented him with an ultimatum- I wake him at 6 every day with my awesome morning breath or he backs down. So far he is staying in his place. As he should.