Happy Turkey Day!

Hello my adoring fans! If I have any...

So I am in Florida at my Nanny's house- she is an excellent cook! And Poppy is very generous with the food. He is a great griller! Hopefully something good will come my way today. All I have to do is use my best begging skills.

I've got to tell you about this idiot, Bald One. Since he has been running back home he thinks he is some kind of marathoner. Yesterday he went to the neighborhood gym and today he went for a run... and never came back. Some neighbors picked him up hobbling along the side of the road and delivered him to us. He crawled into the house an hour later complaining of shin splints. What a wuss! He smeared Tiger Balm all over one leg and actually smells good for once.

Have a happy Thanksgiving and if you go shopping tomorrow morning, happy hunting!

Florida!

So Bald One brought me to Florida to see my Nanny and Poppy. He got me up real early this morning- before the butt crack of dawn- to drive down here. I would've helped drive but I'm only two and don't have my permit yet.

Along the way I made some observations of various drivers:
1) The Left Lane Hog: this guy stays in the left lane and drives slow enough to build a long line of cars behind him. Get over, you Jackass!!
2) The Indecisive Speeder: this person is easy to spot- he drives slow and you pass him then suddenly he speeds up to pass you. Then a few minutes later you are passing him again. That's what cruise control is for, Goofball!!
3) The Truck Jerk: ever notice that the giant truck drifts into your lane just as you are passing him? Suddenly you are in the median! Thanks a lot, Jerk!
4) The Right Lane Passer: this impatient person blasts past everyone on the right hand side, challenging everyone to do something about it. Where is your etiquette? Pass on the left, Doofus!
5) The Cell Phone Drifter: ever see a car or truck drifting aimlessly from lane to lane with random speed changes? As you drive by, notice the cell phone at his ear. That's what the handless is for, Stupidhead!

I made it safe and sound. And Poppy gave me some chicken earlier. I just may ditch Bald One and stay here, I hate him anyway! Turkey Day is almost here! What plans do you have?

Six Loads!

Busy day today- I finally got Bald One to give me a bath. I feel and smell much better now. That Bald One is getting lazy- it's a good thing I am still here to boss him around now. Afterward, I made him shave and take a shower. I think it has been about a week now since he last bathed.

Can't clean up without doing laundry. Bald One has really gotten lazy- three weeks of clothes! I had to go with him to the laundry facility to supervise his activities. Six loads! Luckily no one else was there, we took over most of the machines. With a little nudging from me, he got all the clothes folded and even put away when we got home. You know, I only saw a few pairs of underwear in there- this guy is disgusting.

Tennis update- Bald One won another round of playoffs (the first-128- was on Friday)- he is now off to the round of 32. He may not be smart, but he is brutish on the courts.

Dinner tonight- I had a sausages and the dried crap Bald One feeds me. He had burned pot stickers and steamed vegetables. I really would've liked a bite.

Six loads!

It's a teethbrush!

So Bald One must've been reading my blog...

He completed his research paper today and was walking with a smug smile, like he just cured cancer or something. Then he decided to run at Kennesaw Mountain again- I did not think he would do it.

The worst thing is... he tried to brush my teeth! First he let me taste some minty but nasty substance. Then he pinned me down and stuck a toothbrush in there. It was awful, I hate that dirty rat! I will get him back some day. Aspen does not get mad, she gets even.

On the upside, while Bald One was at school I changed the channel to watch AMC- Aliens was on- one awesome movie there. Ever wonder why awesome keeps the "e" while awful does not?

Rain is clearing up!

Help me, I am about to crazy here! Ever since Short Hair sent us away I have been stuck with Bald One. I am really getting tired of his rancid breath. Can you believe he had the audacity to tell me that it is my breath that stinks? As if! For Christmas I will buy him some new mouthwash; obviously that "Latrine" stuff he is gargling is not working.

I get caged up here quite a bit. On Sunday Bald One left me in my cage to go running around Kennesaw Mountain. I would've gone but the exercise is just not for me. He was all proud of himself, boasting about how far he ran- I think he said 50 feet? It has been raining for days keeping us inside. Looks like that is clearing up now. We'll see if he runs again or just stays lazy.

Bald One has been working on some kind of research paper for days now. At least he thinks that what he is doing. I have observed a lot of surfing the Internet and scratching of the armpits. He thinks getting more education will make him better than me! I never attended a day of classes after puppy training and look at me- I have my own blog!