Rough week

The last week was a tough one. Bald One ambushed me twice. I thought we were going for a ride to see friends or family but no-oh! The first trip ended at the Vet! I hate the vet- she is so mean. And they were poking me in the butt. What sadistic person would choose to do that? The second trip ended up at the groomer- what am I, royalty? Oh yeah, I am the queen! So now I am almost bald. Like Bald One, only much better looking!

Then the rat bastard left me in the cage all weekend while he went to work. Or so he claimed- I could smell the booze on him. He may be a jerk, but he always bring home the ice cream. This one is the best from Publix- try it and you won't be disappointed! They should pay me for the advertising.

Monsters of Florida

So Bald One took me to Florida last week. For the most part I was trapped inside Nanny and Poppys' house but I did get out for a few walks. Florida is full of all kinds of vicious monsters. I had Bald One take his camera for pictures of these beasts.

So this one is called the "Solvita Gator." It was on the edge of the pond and Bald One walked up to pet it- yes, he is that stupid. I had to intervervene and chase it into the water with a lot of barking and growling. This is the picture we got afterward:

We also encountered the "Solvita Sandcrane." These vicious beasts tried to team up against me but my ninja skills prevailed and I sent them to flight. Sure, they look innocent:

This one is called the "Solvita Egrit." I was sneaking up on it almost captured it when Bald One tripped over his feet and blew my cover. It called me all kinds of names before flying away:

I don't know what these last creatures are but we saw them too:

A dark day for America

What a terrible day for all of us! First Bald One gave me a bath and then the USA women lost in the tie-breaker shoot-out! Sneak attack by the Japanese!

Carsick

Got back from Florida last night! Finally! It was the longest drive of my long life. In doggy time I was trapped in that car for 84 hours! That idiot Bald One cannot drive.

First, there was heavy rain and Bald One kept slowing down. Then he and my cousin, Michael, could not decide where to eat so they kept driving around looking for a place. When they finally stopped somewhere, at Steak n Shake, they were inside for 7 doggy hours! Then we hit some construction in South Georgia that set us back another 7 doggy hours.

After getting some gas, Bald One forced me to eat a greenie. I did not want it! So I puked it up all over the car- on the seat, the console, and I think I got Michael. Bald One pulled over fast and those two flew out of the car. Then they had to clean. Teach them to mess with me- a queen does what she wants.

Just outside of Atlanta we got stuck in traffic again! Bald One ended up taking us all around Atlanta to avoid that. Then after dropping off Michael, Bald One stopped at Publix for groceries, leaving me in the car. I hate that guy. So I have been shunning him since.

Hey, USA women play Japan for the World Cup this afternoon- let's go Marianas Turkey Shoot on them!

Fire alarm works!

Talk about loud and obnoxious.

It's all rainy and thundery and I cannot go outside so I was just getting settled in for the night and Bald One was giving me a massage when... the fire alarm started going off! Not the smoke alarm in my hallway (stupid Bald One tore that thing apart thinking he could stop the noise) but the whole building alarm. What a piercing wail! Bald One was holding his ears and howling.

Of course we could not evacuate the building because it is a downpour! Talked to some of the neighbors in the breezeway and one suggested that lightning hit and set it off. Me, I think the alarm was set off by thieves who hoped to sneak in while everyone was out and steal my toys. Just let me at those thieves! I'll bark at them and bite their ankles! Tear them apart like a squirrel!

Djokovic supreme!

Have you been keeping up with Wimbledon? Bald One thinks he is a tennis player so we have been watching it on and off. Yesterday we watched Kvitova beat Shirapova. Bald One and I looked at each other- who is Kvitova? Grand Slam champion apparently. Then we watched the Bryan Brothers- what a pair! I think they are telepathically linked.

This morning I had to drag Bald One out of bed for Breakfast at Wimbledon. Breakfast of course was the garbage Bald One feeds me while he had yogurt and a banana. Great match! Nadal hit some really hard backhands. But we were really hoping the Joker would defeat the Picker.

Bald One said something about a bath after the match- oh crap!