Rabbit Season! Duck Season! Rabbit Season!

Stick in the Butt and I were exploring the backyard when we came across this brown hoppy thingy. It was really exciting! Stick in the Butt was growling in fear while I was barking excitedly, ready to chase him down and make him my biyatch. Right when I tore off after it Bald One jerked my leash- I hate that jerk! The hoppy thingy escaped into the bushes so we growled and barked at it, daring it to come back onto our turf. Next time we will teach it a lesson.

Here is an actual conversation between Long Hair and Bald One- get a load of these two:
Long Hair: ummmm, I'll be like working tomorrow, ummm I have to be there at 10:00.
Bald One: so what time do you need to leave, I say I say?
Long Hair: ummm, I leave like at 9:30.
Bald One: so how long does it take to get there, I say I say?
Long: ummm, about eight minutes. But sometimes there is like, you know, traffic.
Bald One: How much traffic are you expecting at 9:30 in the morning that you are allowing for 22 extra minutes, I say I say?
Long Hair: well, ummm, I have to be there 15 minutes early, you know?
Bald One: so you have to be there at 9:45, not 10.

So what happened to all the futbol nuts? Stranger and Bald One would plop their fat butts on the couch and watch soccer matches all the time. It was all over the news. And since Saturday, all is quiet on the Western Front. Where did all the fans go?

The return of the Younglings

Long Hair and Stranger have finally returned! They were gone for what seemed like doggie years! Stranger kind of comes and goes as he pleases, but I am not used to Long Hair taking off like that. I think she went to California to get rich and famous. She keeps talking about that. And everybody knows that is the place to go. But wait! Bald One (I hate him!) is from California. I heard talking about it the other day. Is he rich? No, he can't even hold a job! Is he famous? No, unless you count his picture in the AJC the other day, in the background, picking his ear wax. Did I ever tell you that he is obsessed with ear hairs? He is always plucking them! Me, I like lots of ear hair. Keeps the mites away. Short Hair was very excited to see her pups return. I am glad they have returned- more underwear for me to sniff out and hide!

No wait, I did see Bald One on TV once- it was America's Most Wanted. What about you? Are your parents wanted by the law? Should they be?

It wasn't me!

Someone has been peeing in the house. So of course the Help blames me. I could hear Short Hair trash-talking me to Bald One. What do they know? I did not do it but I know who did. Notice that the pee stains appeared as Stranger returned from school... coincidence? I think not! He is a sketchy character. He and his lady friend, Twiggy.

Did I tell you that the Help is unemployed? Both Short Hair and Bald One (I hate him!) have lost their jobs. Stupid, incompetent, goofballs. This gives them more time to wait on me. One of them had better get a job soon... the queen will not go hungry!

All of my adoring fans... please leave a comment and let me know great I am!